The Open Tomb

Have you ever heard of functioning depression? Yeah, me either until about one or two years ago. God gave me a message titled, “Come Out of Your Tomb.” I referenced scripture in Matthew following the resurrection of Christ Jesus. It said that when He rose, other tombs became open and people began seeing those that had passed on prior to. The sermon was directed to people who had given up on life or whose life had been cut short while yet being fully alive and well. It wasn’t so much as life being cut short, but dreams, aspirations, goals, and the like.

See, when I was younger there was so much that I wanted to accomplish by the age I am now. I wanted to get married, have a few children, be well on my way to making partner at a law firm practicing criminal law, and traveling the world collecting different knick-knacks from each location. Before all of that, I wanted to graduate college. I was a student at Kettering University in Flint, MI. Nothing about my journey at this university was smooth. I was an academic scholar prior to stepping foot on campus. Let’s just say after a year and a half, I had a tough choice to make, it was either drop out to save face from being expelled, or switch majors. I took a semester off to think things through. Dropping out was not an option in my book. Switching majors was the only thing that made sense. Once I did that, I made the Dean’s List after two semesters and had to eventually drop out due to insufficient funds.

I was crushed. I had to return home a failure. The overachiever was now a failure. If Stefanie couldn’t do it, what does say about others? That we all have our struggles. It was during this time that I was also dealing with another internal struggle that took me further down a dark hole. I had been living my life to please others since fulfilling my own dreams seemed to be just figments of my imagination. I wasn’t living life; I was merely existing while life kept lifin’. The thing we don’t grasp onto early on is that life will continue with or without you. It wasn’t until one or two years ago that I realized I had been living in a tomb with the door wide open, yet I didn’t have the wherewithal to walk out on my own.

I died in a situation, but Jesus had given me another opportunity. He reminded me that yes, I may have failed at this one thing but that didn’t make me a failure. I may have given over into temptation, but that didn’t keep me from experiencing true deliverance. I may have turned to pleasing people instead of self, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t turn the leaf and start anew.

Depression had me thinking that nothing in life would ever go right again; that the life I was living was the life I would continue to live without improvements. Depression had me smiling in the faces of many, while on the inside I couldn’t understand why they were around me. Depression had me giving up on all of my dreams; past, present, and even future.

Depression can take you into some dark corners, tunnels, rooms, and mindsets. You feel like everything is against you and that you have nothing to offer or receive. You beat yourself up. Seclude yourself from family, friends, and other social gatherings. You think the worst of yourself and feel that everyone else does also.

Depression can lead to suicide, drug or alcohol addiction, and other forms of filling voids within. Many lose themselves to overwhelming thoughts of not being good enough, strong enough, smart enough, kind enough, patient enough, or just worth it. However, I’m here to tell you that you are enough!

God thought so much about you that He sent His only son into the world to experience the joys – along with the pains of relationships and peer pressure. Jesus walked this very Earth and endured so much, yet He showed us that we can make it. Not in our own strength, but in His.

Jesus got so distressed once that He bled as He prayed before going to the cross. However, He thought about the reason God sent Him. It was God’s will that we have a way out and Jesus provided that way. He thought enough of you and me to say, it’s not about how I feel right now, but it’s about what this will mean and do for all of humanity.

Jesus thought that you were enough. It’s time for you to think that way as well. Come out of your tomb, the door is open.