12 Pillars Every Godly Relationship Needs: The Mechanics

Love is more than the feelings we express. Love is a person. And we call Him, God (1 John 4.7-8).

As the author of love, God has much to say about how we love each other through the conduit of relationships. And not just intimate relationships (spousal, dating) but our friendships, familial relations, and even professional/working connections.

As it turns out, all Godly relationships, regardless of the type, share common pillars that make them healthy and successful. In Romans 12, the apostle Paul shares several foundational principles for walking in healthy relationships according to the ways of God.

In this blog series, we’re sharing 12 pillars of Godly relationships for making strong, enjoyable connections that honor each other and thus God.

Here’s a recap of our last 3 pillars.

4. Celebrating Our Diversity

Just as our body has many functions (ex. arm, leg), so in Christ are we also one body with differing but important roles (Romans 12.4-8 NIV). Because God created us with differences and loves us just that way, so we should honor and celebrate each other’s differences too; in ways that are consistent with His will.

5. Love: The Choice

Love is always a choice, a choice to choose someone’s highest good. We don’t always get to choose what or who we like, but we always choose how we respond and treat (love) our fellow man (Romans 12.9-10 AMP).

6. Honor

When we honor one another, we’re choosing (love) to recognize and express their value to us (Romans 12.10 ESV). Honor is also remembering their worth to God. Even when we can’t honor someone for what they’ve done (ex. sin), we can always honor them for their value to God. How we value God is shown by how we value His people (each other).

Let’s get into our next 3 pillars every Godly relationship needs.

7. Joy and Patience

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. 📖 Romans 12.12 ESV

People enjoy being around other people that live life out of joy and hope. It’s this same joy and hope that enriches our relationships with encouragement. Happiness is situational. But joy [in Christ] is an inner hope that goes far beyond.

Joy and patience are also fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5.22-23) that God desires us to have and share. Just as we aren’t exempt from the trials of life, neither are our relationships. It’s through patience that we express our trust in God and our enduring love for one another. Patience builds healthy and sturdy relationships if we let her have her perfect work (James 1.4).

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant… 📖 1 Corinthians 13.4 ESV

8. Prayer

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. 📖 Romans 12.12 ESV

God calls us to a lifestyle of [consistent] prayer (1 Thessalonians 5.17) and that includes praying for those that we’re in relationship with.

When we pray for those that we share relationship with, we create a spiritual bond and heart-link that goes beyond surface-level things in common. It’s this bond that also allows us to grow [stronger] together in Christ and team up for Kingdom purposes.

Relationships grounded in prayer enable us to carry one another’s burdens (Galatians 6.2). Prayer also shares opportunities for us to hear from God on their behalf and them on ours.

9. Sharing

Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. 📖 Romans 12.13

Giving is at the core of every healthy relationship. God has not only made us unique in expression, but He’s also given us varying resources and abilities. What one doesn’t have, another will.

When we freely give and share what’s been given to us, everyone’s needs can be met (Acts 4.32-35). “We all gon eat,” as we like to say in the entrepreneurial world. And when we recognize God as our source, we don’t have to fear lack and can freely give as He leads.

When we live life out of sharing and serving through our relationships, we’re living out of the heart of God.

Check out the final part of our blog series: 12 Pillars Every Godly Relationship Needs — Harmony Vibes.

Special thanks to Dave Buehring for his years of insight and teaching on these principles from his book, A Discipleship Journey.